"We waste time looking for the perfect lover,
instead of creating the perfect love."
~ Tom Robbins
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I am reminded of the time I was getting ready to go to a football game and looking all over...and I do mean ALL OVER the house for my binoculars while they were, all the while, around my neck.
We look for friends and lovers and contacts to reassure us that we are loveable and worth something. Instead of finding the love inside we have to give. Always already there.
At one period in my life I went into therapy as a way to see if I could solve my problems. And it occurs to me now, that although I received huge unintended benefits from being in therapy, the therapy itself was not complete, because it was leaving something important out. It was trying to understand each individual's personal patterns of dysfunctional psychology, and then label those patterns, and then "work on" them. But it never fully "worked" for me because there was no accompanying attempt to understand the basic principle of thought.
When a thought enters the mind and is seized upon and believed, a feeling is the result. And the process is that predictable.
People think their way into trouble, and then study the trouble. They think their way into anger or depression, and then they study the depression and anger. Can you see the fallacy there? The thinking itself is never studied.
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Your mind can have a calming effect
"When anyone has even the slightest inkling of understanding of the role of thought in creating perception, it has a calming effect. One avoids becoming consumed in a spiraling intensity of their own perceptions. One doesn't get carried away and upset. One goes the other direction, tending to calm down, to get a little humble about it, thinking: Maybe I need to take a fresh look at this, let my intelligence behind my thought evolve my perception, see it in a more understanding, functional light. That is the nature of life: to create more options, more possibilities."
~ GEORGE PRANSKY
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STRESSING OUT OVER YOUR LIFE RUINS IT
Stressing out over hitting my goals is not the same as caring about hitting them. No performer, when tense, or stressed, performs well. No leader does. No sales person. No fundraiser. No parent. No lover.
A stressed-out, tense performer only has access to a small per cent of their skill and talent and intelligence. (Do you want a tense person shooting a free throw, or kicking a long field goal in the last moments of the game, or a confident, calm person?)
Most people stress themselves out as a form of "really caring" about hitting their goals. But it's not caring, it's stressing out. Caring is relaxing, focusing and calling on ALL of my resources, all of that relaxed magic, that lazy dynamite that I bring to bear when I pay full attention with total peace of mind. No one performs better than when they are relaxed and focused.
Most people try double negatives and triple negatives as a way to motivate themselves. They intentionally upset themselves over the prospect of NOT reaching their goals. Selling or leading or building great relationships is not possible when one is that negatively stressed out.
It is not necessary to stress. Only to focus and remain focused. Anything you pay peaceful attention to will expand. Just don't spend your attention elsewhere. Spend it where you want the increase: in clients, customers, money, whatever. In a relaxed and happy way be relentless and undivided and peaceful and powerful. You will succeed.
To help people learn this I've created a free, blessedly short eBook:
POWERFUL GRACEFUL SUCCESS
By Steve Chandler
The Secret Key to Mastering Time, Love and Money
http://www.stevechandler.com/Free.html
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