"...to express her faith in a social order that combats chaos through civil grace, decency and wit."
---From the dust jacket of Mansfield Park, one of the two Jane Austen books read and celebrated by the infamous two guys.
Jane Austen was an OWNER and this woman, down here, is a rather hilarious example of a VICTIM:
KERRVILLE, Texas, (AP) - Prosecutors will review the case of a woman authorities claim has called 911 30 times over six months for non-emergency reasons, including a call to complain that her husband refused to eat his dinner. Last Friday, the woman allegedly made a pair of calls to 911, including a hang-up and another where a woman was heard screaming. Police were dispatched to the residence and officer Paul Gonzales said police were told by her that "her husband did not want to eat his supper." A police report said the 53-year-old woman was also yelling "about things that happened two weeks ago." The woman now faces charges of 911 abuse.
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As I tried to explain in SHIFT YOUR MIND, Owners take responsibility for their own happiness, while victims blame everyone else for everything. Owners are independent, self-reliant creators of circumstances and victims react to circumstances.
I'm often asked to give a public speech or a workshop on OWNERS versus VICTIMS.
My workshops are always about contrasting distinctions. The workshops are never just downloads of information. People already have too much information.
Clients who are considering whether to hire me have asked, "What's the information in your speech?"
"There isn't any."
"Are you joking?"
"No. There's no information, just a distinction."
"You'll have to explain that."
A distinction is different than information. If I went in front of a group of people for an hour and gave them a ton of new information, they'd simply have more information. Now they'd have to try to remember it all! They might have taken notes, but a month later they would have forgotten most of the information. Sounds like a waste of time. No wonder most leaders tell me, "Training comes and goes and nothing's ever different."
I agree with that. How could anything be different when you're working with information?
These days people already receive more information than ever before in the history of humankind. We are overwhelmed with information. We get so much. The minute we wake up, the television is on, or the radio, or we flip the computer on to get our early morning information, or receive a series of texts, and soon the information just overwhelms us. It's like a rush of water…a tsunami of information.
And then throughout the day we are given more and more information.
So if you go into a seminar and I give you even more information, then it's a disservice!
A distinction is different than information. Because a distinction is simply a separation. It's a surgical slice down the middle of your mind. A good presenter of distinctions becomes a diamond cutter! She uses a distinction as a sharp, sparkling device to divide the mind in a clear, liberating and ultimately healing way.
It never leaves you with anything you have to "try to remember."
Like the distinction between thinking like an owner and thinking like a victim. A clear distinction. An unforgettable contrast. When you see it and when you "get" the contrast-it is yours forever.
Like the young Arthur of legend pulling the sword Excalibur from the stone. (Now the sword was his, and he would be the once and future king.)
When you clearly get how distinct two things are you'll never lose that distinction.
For example, life and death. It's a distinction! I believe you've already gotten that one. Because when you were a young child there was a point at which you learned about death, and how it was different and distinct from life.
I remember when I was three years old and there was a dead bird on the road. My father was pushing me in a stroller and I pointed at the bird and he explained to me that that bird was dead. And for the first time, I got the distinction. Something could be living or something could be dead.
Once you get a distinction, you've got it. You don't have to revisit it and continuously remind yourself of it.
I have had people contact me who were in an owner-victim distinction seminar over ten years ago and tell me that the main distinction has stayed with them throughout all these years. It's something they've been able to use every day since then.
When the sun goes down, it is night time. We know that because we learned the distinction between night and day. We only had to get it once. We never had to put a sticker up on our refrigerator saying, "Remember: dark equals night time and light equals day time." We never have to remind ourselves of a distinction. We've already got it.
Distinctions are like good jokes. I get it! When you get it, you own it. It's yours. You are now moving through the world interacting with others with a distinction in you that you have and can use. Distinctions help you simplify life. You have new mental leverage that wasn't there before. Shifting becomes easier.
Club Fearless was designed to be a way to KEEP the distinction alive and active in your mind every single day so you can be Jane Austen instead of the woman calling 911 because her husband wouldn't eat her food. So you can be a diamond cutter, and live life from a sense of inner power instead of collapsing in the face of imaginary problems all day.
Am I worried about selling you this club? No. Sales is missing now. We are focusing, instead, on bailing everyone out. At enabling people to be victims forever. (Victims vote consistently for the people who victimize them...it's like having our formerly powerful nation of proud, productive individuals now in the thrall of Stockholm Syndrome).
Selling is an exchange of energy and value. It is a proud and brave practice and only people who wish us all to become government workers would attack it as a practice. I have no problem having this blog be nothing but excited, enthusiastic selling. To make a point.
In the meantime, I wish you a happy new year. And a prosperous one. And even if you are a government worker, sell something in your spare time. See how it feels to be part of the economic recovery: