Closer to the next home run!

 
"Every strike brings me closer to the next home run."
-Babe Ruth

    I love Babe Ruth's quote and I love baseball and I will be there opening day to see the first pitch thrown out in Phoenix next week and I'll have a little notebook in hand this time because I am writing a book about baseball right now with my entertaining friend and coauthor Terrence N. Hill. It will be the 4th in our two guys series....books not about personal growth or self-help, but just about the joys of being alive.

    Self-help is made fun of by intellectuals in the New York Times, but it saved my life. However, I realize that I tend to take it too far. Not everyone wants to keep hearing about the latest program for enlightenment and motivation.
 
    My own dear wife Kathy keeps me honest. When she catches me dispensing a little too much wisdom about the power of positive thinking at a family gathering, she will roll her eyes and say something funny about me.  Which reminds me of a joke:

    A woman is told by her doctor she has six months to live. "Is there anything I can do?" she asks.
 
   "Yes there is," the doctor replies. "You could marry a motivational speaker."
 
   "How will that help my illness?" the woman asks.

    "Oh, it won't help your illness," says the doctor, "but it will make six months seem like an eternity."    

*     *     *     *     *

     Here's a short letter I wrote to Terry Hill while we were writing TWO GUYS READ JANE AUSTEN (a book that has sold way beyond our expectations… something that has, I believe, more to do with the popularity of Jane herself than it does with us...). This was written right after Heath Ledger's overdose death hit the news.

     Dear Terry,  

     When you and I were 20 years old a movie came out called "The Pleasure Seekers" with a dream cast of Ann-Margret, Tony Franciosa and Gardner McKay. Do you remember it? It was warning us. Where does such shallow pleasure-seeking lead? Yesterday the news was that the young actor Heath Ledger was dead. Empty pill bottles all over his apartment. Sleeping pills.

    But sleep won't come. The whole night through. Your cheating heart. Will tell on you.

    Because it's cheating to want inner peace to be so immediate and easy.

    This I have to remind myself every day. Just like your own disciplines of writing and walking and journaling do. I use something I call The Stravinsky Code to remind me of where real joy (versus shallow gratification) comes from. It's a quote from the composer Igor Stravinsky. He said, (and I've read this a thousand times by now striving to have it sink in really deep), "My freedom will be so much the greater and more meaningful the more narrowly I limit my field of action and the more I surround myself with obstacles. Whatever diminishes constraint diminishes strength. The more constraints one imposes, the more one frees one's self of the chains that shackle the spirit."

     Here's to obstacles,    s.

*     *     *     *     *

     And here's a cool poem just sent to me by a talented young woman who is a member of that club I write so much about:

REINVENTING MYSELF

After much circumspection, I am reinventing myself
Sick to death of recalling the drama on the back shelf
It's a fruitless effort to live in the past
Cuz the present is flying by too fast!!

Though it's always what I've been accustomed to
There's no point in letting shit brew
Best thing to do is just let it all out
Rather than allowing myself to brood and pout

Letting go is the greatest feeling ever
Now all binds from the past I can completely sever
Time to start fresh and anew
Have no clue what the future will lead to

Fear of the unknown is what's really exciting
Garnering brand new material, which I'll be reciting
Ah yes, that's where I am at home, on stage
No longer will my doubts keep me in a cage

Time to live abundantly, distributing my humor and wealth
Which I will do, now that I am reinventing myself

*     *     *     *     *     *

It takes a coward to be courageous

       These are the words of my friend, the leadership coach and author Stephen McGhee:

       It takes a coward to be courageous.

     My heart skipped a beat as she walked into the room. I could not take my eyes off of her. There seemed to be a knowing that went beyond words.

     My heart opened and the feeling that began to move through my body was warm and wonderful. I want to meet her. It felt as if I had known her from before and yet I knew we had never met. What should I do, I wondered? My stomach was feeling like I was swaying on turbulent ocean waves. Should I get up and walk over to meet her?

     Then, like an ice storm the fear came. What if she says no? What if I offend her? She may not find me attractive? I might be embarrassed. I will look like a fool if she already is in a relationship. The other people in the coffee shop might laugh at me?

     How many of you can relate to the following experience? Some of you may have felt that way before in other scenarios. The fearful feeling tends to sneak up on us. It can show up in many different scenarios.

     Perhaps you are in a meeting and you know the solution to the problem. Nobody else can see the solution because they are stuck in stinking thinking and trying to be right about the “way it is”. As life and business leaders we must learn to abate the sinking “icey” feeling and speak our truth. If we don’t speak our truth or reach out our hand to life…it can pass us by quickly and decisively. Then, we can look back on our years of life with a sense of complacency.

     Consider that in most of those situations, the moment will never be the same again. Those moments come and go and it requires courage to “stand” up for our beliefs or to say yes to an intuitive feeling. Many times feeling like a coward can help? What you say? Most people think cowardice is a bad thing. No not really, because most people pretend to have it all together. They are just cowards in disguise. Those people are just as afraid as the next person. The difference is they don’t want to look bad, because they are so invested in looking good. This requires tremendous false energy. It is a waste of creativity.

     The person that is cowardly…like the lion in the Wizard of Oz isn’t worried about looking good and will tend to try more things than the person holding on to some false identity. Think about it? Kids are great at speaking out…or trying new things. They are not generally worried about doing it right. They learn that latter from us the adults.

     I promise you the courage will come forward for you. As a coach, I am constantly inviting (pushing) my clients to go to the edge with their courage. We grow from these moments. We grow from the experience regardless of the outcome. We grow if we are willing to take the step. You don’t need to know the sequence of steps; only the very first one.

     I have heard it said that “spirit meets us at the point of action.” I believe that to be true. It makes sense. Spirit is not stupid and why would spirit move for me while I sit on my butt.

     So, I took a deep breath. I stood up and walked over to the table. I knew not what to say. I reached out my hand and spoke: “When you walked in this coffee shop, my heart opened and I saw you as the most beautiful woman I have ever seen”. My voice was steady. Suddenly, I felt light hearted and clear. I said, “I could not leave here today without at least meeting you.” She smiled and we began a conversation. It’s a good thing I was a coward on that day. If not for my cowardly lion I would not have met Leslie and we would not be engaged to be married.

     This concept applies everywhere with everything we do. It applies with our kids, our business, our relationships, our money, our health, our sense of adventure. Courage is needed everywhere. Fear sucks and courage rocks.

*     *     *     *     *

     If you live near Mesa, Arizona, this is good news:

     Julia Gresham is leading a meet-up group to discuss the bold issues thus far presented in Club Fearless. The event is coming up Friday, March 27th in Mesa, AZ:

http://www.meetup.com/Club-Fearless-Steve-Chandler-Meetup-Group/

*     *     *     *     *

     What will you do the next time you need to find your courage?

     For a lifetime of courage, go to www.clubfearless.net and join members from 17 other countries.

        

Comments

[Dini]

From a non Christian point of view.Our family isn't into Halloween doesn't sit right knikcong on strangers doors asking for sweets.Costumes is a USA thing & not a kiwi thing just another commercial opportunity.When young DS was scared of witches.When we moved here 8 years ago we got invited to a street halloween I didn't want to attend as we weren't into halloween I insisted in going with the kids (got flack from that but wouldn't budge) & yes they dressed up the other kids did too & was rather scary for kids when little. But I was there & we talked through it. We only went to homes that were included & the adults stayed home to give out sweets. Un known to me Brent dressed up as a scary troll -& when we got to our home it was hilarious he was very scary & threw plastic spiders & bats at the kids. Next home was a Canadian lady & she also dressed up & was scary as a hunchback, she shared how halloween was big is her growing up years back in Canada.Looking back it was a fun street night & with me walking with the kids they weren't too scared I think James was 4 & Abs 7. Maybe you could do a gentle study on Halloween & if your street did something like ours you could explain things to the kids gently they don't have to dress up scary. We treated it as a fun fancy dress night following year street didn't do it our Rooster helped move out the moaning neighbour GRIN.We had a fun family halloween meal of bats blood & all sorts of silly names for the food. But wonderful memories & all focused on fun not dark stuff.I think folks that share their faith by gently sharing their walk/faith get their message across much more than folks who speak scriptures at them ie wrapping them up in candy or speaking them at people. Another tact I probably would do is say we can't that night & go out chicken aye.

[Jonathan]

Jan30Lynne I invited my grnutdaaghder to be my neighbor before she was playing Cafe World. At the time, she wasn't interested but now she is playing the game. We can send each other gift dishes, but we can't invite each other to be neighbors as our names are deleted from our lists. Is there a way to send her a neighbor re-invitation?

[Fredrickson]

Nov19 je n'arrive pas a relire ce que vous m'avez expc3ƒc2a9dier dans vos ectnixapiols en anglais desolermais ce que je voulais expliquer c'est que quand je veux ajouter une personne pour qu'elle figure dans mes amis sur cafe world elle ne le son pas ^pourquoi quand on veut expc3ƒc2a9dier des gifts, il y a ceux qui peuvent voir mon cafc3ƒc2a9 world et d'autre en attend de reponse mais certain jon accepter justement d'etre dans mes amis il devrait ,donc etre de la meme couleur en orange comme les autres mais elle reste en bleu . pourquoi je n'arrive pas a les avoir comme amis en bas de ma page sur cafc3ƒc2a9 worldtacher de me repondre en francais, pleasetank you

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Hello.
Just like last weeks posting of new releases ,here's my verdict:Doom and Wallace & Gromit do not need anydvd activated. Dvd shrink will rip those 2 all by its lonesome. Don't even need dvd43 either.Bambi 2 did need anydvd activated. Dvd shrink would analyze it,but when you tried to re-author: The background would gray out and freeze.When I tried it in my main pc,the initial quick analyzation said it would take over 18 mins so I clicked out of it. I then activated anydvd and dvd shrink ripped it like a normal dvd. All my originals are Full Frame only and Region 1.
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[geatriame]

Good day

http://www.internetmoque.net - Compared Translations of the meaning of the Quran

Respect for your Neighbours
---------------------------
My talk to you is about NEIGHBOURS. This subject is very important anywhere in the world. If one has to live in peace and harmony in his house, he should find out the best neighbour in a good neighbourhood and in a good society.

Allah informed us that neighbours are important segments in the society. Without having good neighbours, people will have a difficult and a miserable life. Accordingly Allah (swt) informed us to look after the neighbours, to take care of them , to keep good relations and to make sure that we have good neighbours. In taking care of neighbours, Allah (swt) associated them with categories of parents, relatives, orphans, poor and needy. In Surah An-Nisa' (The Women) Allah says:

"Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good -- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands posses: for God loves not the arrogant, the vainglorious." [4:36 -

In this Ayah, Allah (swt) categorized for us three types of neighbours that we should take care of . They are:

A relative neighbour
A strange fellow neighbour
A friend Neighbour
All of these neighbours and any Muslim or non-Muslim neighbour is to be taken care of in the best form and in the best manner.

II. CARING FOR NEIGHBOURS

Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) explained to us how to take care of our neighbours. He also insisted that we should do every possible means to make our neighbours happy and satisfied. In one Hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) says:

Narrated by Ibn Umar and Aisha (May Allah be pleased with them) saying that the Messenger of Allah said:

Angel Jibril advised me continuously to take care of the neighbour till I thought that Allah is to make him an inheritor.

In another Hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) informed us that the best person is the one who is good to his neighbours. The Hadith is as follows:

Narrated by Ibn Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

The best friend in the sight of Allah is the one who is good to his companions; and the best neighbour in the sight of Allah is the one who is good to his neighbours. [Tarmizi -

There are still more Ahadith about treating neighbours in the best way.

1. In one Hadith, the following is reported that we should be kind to our neighbours:

Narrated by Abi Shuraih Al-Khuza'i (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgement, let him do good to his neighbour... [Muslim -

2. In another Hadith, the following reported that we should let them enjoy the food that we cook:

Narrated by Abu Zarr Al-Ghaffari (May Allah be pleased with him) saying that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

O Abu Zarr! Whenever you cook food, increase its contents, and take care of your neighbours. [Muslim -

III. WARNING

Our dear Prophet (pbuh) warned those who do harm to their neighbours. He informed them that they are not believers, that they will be punished, and they will not enter paradise. In one Hadith the following reported:

Narrated by Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) saying that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

He will not enter paradise, the one whose neighbor is not safe of him. [Muslim -

In another Hadith the following reported:

Narrated by Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) saying that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

In the name of Allah, he is not a believer, In the Name of Allah, he is not a believer, In the Name of Allah, he is not a believer. They asked him, who is he O Messenger of Allah! He said: It is he whose neighbor is not safe of him. [Agreed -

IV. OBLIGATIONS

Because the subject of NEIGHBOUR is so important in the sight of Allah (swt) and His Messenger Muhammad (pbuh), I will continue offering you more information about this subject.

1. In one Hadith the Prophet (pbuh) explained the physical limits of neighbours:

Every forty houses are your neighbours: The ones in front of you, the ones from the back, the ones on the right and the ones on the left. [Tahhawi -

2. In another Hadith the Prophet (pbuh) explains the rights and obligations toward a neighbour:

The rights of the neighbour is that, when he is sick you visit him; when he dies, you go to his funeral; when he is poor you lend him (money); when he is in need you protect him; when he is in happiness you congratulate him; when he is struck with a calamity, you condole him; don't raise your building above his to cut off the wind from him; don't harm him with the good smell of your food unless you let him have part of it. [Tabarani -

3. In another Hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) explained some of the causes of happiness to the individuals:

Among the happiness of a Muslim is a good neighbour, and wide house, and a relaxing transportation... [Ahmad & Al-Hakim -

4. In another Hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) explained to us how to take care of our neighbours in matters of famine and hunger:

He is not believing in me, the one who sleeps full while his neighbour is hungry. [Al-Bazar -

5. In another place it is explained that one has to select among others the good neighbour before he selects the house:

Neighbour is before the house, the companion is before travelling, and the food supply is before departure. [Al-Khatib -

V. BUILDING A GOOD SOCIETY

We are living in a rat race society. We are living in a society where very few people are concerned for others. We are living in a society where people are killing one another without due respect. We are living in a society where neighbours don't know one another. Neighbours of the same building even may not know one another. People are scared of one another. The rate of crime has increased tremendously. People may see one another being hurt and killed, and their answer would be: "It is not my business to get involved." They may see someone screaming, "Help! Help!" Very few of the pedestrians or watchers may come to help. A neighbour may scream, "Help! Help!". However, very few, if any, may be interested to help. Each one is looking after himself.

If you wish to reduce the rate of crime in the society, Muslims are to establish a neighbourhood of themselves; otherwise, they should know their neighbours. They should get together with their neighbours and plan strategies to protect their society, their families and their properties. They are to protect their children from drugs, alcohols, rape, adultery, and other vices in the society. There are enough people from the Silent Majority who would be willing to help and to work together to protect the society from the wrong doers.

VI. FINAL REMARKS

Let me end this article with this Hadith whereby we are to be good to our neighbours:

Narrated by Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) saying that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judge-ment should not harm his neighbour; whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgement should be generous to his guest, and whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgement should say good or keep silent. [Agreed -

We hope and pray that all of us will try our best to practice these teachings in our private and pubic life. May Allah help us and guide us to the right path. Ameen.

For more details http://www.internetmoque.net - click her