"Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the
manhood of every one of its members.
The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion.
It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A lot of times people ask me, “Why would someone need coaching?” Years ago, there was no coaching, and people got along just fine.
I say, people don't need it.
Okay, then why do they pay for it if they don't need it?
When Russell Crowe signed on to do the movie Gladiator, he took on a fitness coach. A body-building coach. When Sandra Bullock signed on to do the movie Blind Side, she hired a dialect coach, so she could sound like a southern lady.
Why did they do that?
If I've written all these books and spoken to hundreds of large groups on leadership and fearless reinvention why would I still have a coach?
There must be something occurring when people hire coaches that makes people want to hire them again. Most of my clients have been referred to me by people I have coached. Why would they do that?
Something to do with DELETING fear.
And....with the possibility of being fearless. As opposed to fearful.
What's the difference? What's the benefit?
I just watched a college basketball team end the regulation time of a tournament game. The score was tied. But they ended up not even taking a shot at the basket! Even though they had over 20 seconds of possession!
Why didn't they shoot the ball? Fear. The coaches feared they might shoot too soon and have the ball go over to the other team for a WHO KNOWS WHAT outcome. So they were so careful and cautious and they got all tied up and then, well, jump ball, clock runs out, overtime. Fear. Hope we don't mess up! Playing not to lose.
In overtime the same situation came up at the end BUT rather than get all balled up and twisted into their own fear again, they just WENT FOR IT... DEVIL MAY CARE... I'M TAKING THIS THING TO THE HOOP... KICK OUT THE JAMS RIP THE HINGES OFF THE WALL.............and they won
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You never give me your money
Money is like love to people. They think they need it to survive.
I suffered from something a few years ago that I can only describe as a fear of selling. Oh, I was not alone. I noticed it in others, too. Like I said: Money is like love to people. We get heartsick over it. Because we think we NEED it.
When you think you need something you will get scared. That's it in a formulaic nutshell: need = scared.
So the answer to this fear was to just get into action creating. Get into action creating. Afraid? Get into action creating.
So first my coach helped me "create a new distinction" around selling so it was no longer selling. (This is why coaching is worth the money.) I wasn't afraid of selling, really, I was afraid of the idea of selling.
That's the thing about the things we fear. They are always worse in the head than they are out there in the world. Funny, but the real world is kinder and more supportive than the mind is!
I now loved selling. I didn't mind that people thought I was selling. What's wrong with selling? If selling stopped the world would stop. You can take any other profession and have its practitioners take a week off and we'd be fine. If sales people did that the world would collapse.
When someone would object to whatever I was selling, I would double-down. I'd AGREE the objection. If someone said my price was a problem, I'd agree that it was a problem and immediately raise it. I'd apologize and say I was undervaluing the work and would never do that again.
Highly unorthodox. That's what I would love to have on my tombstone: Highly Unorthodox. That would mean I'd developed a habit of creating.
Objection? Agree. Byron Katie once said that if she was wrongfully arrested for murder, she would tell the cops, "Right person, wrong incident."
Can we be fearless financially, then? Michael Neill's website has me on it because he and I decided to become a conspiracy against money fear. (http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/fearless.php).
One person asked "How can you and Michael Neill put on a six month mastermind called 'Financially Fearless' and then charge all that money for it? Don't you realize that people who need a seminar on money won't be able to pay that money?"
We don't want people who need to be there. We want people who want to be there. It's the whole need thing all over again. People who want to be there will become resourceful to get there...that very resourcefulness will put them on the road to fearless. If you can find a creative way to get into this group we can work with you.
"Life shrinks or expands
in proportion to one's courage."
~Anais Nin
GO DUKE!!!
Posted by: Bob | March 27, 2010 at 11:58 PM