SONG OF ATTRACTION

 

     I speak slowly.  I don't get all psyched up and pumped up.  I don't transfer my energy to you.  I don't want to get you psyched up and pumped up.  I don't live with passion-at least not in my audio recordings.  So, let's get that straight.  I do this deliberately.  I speak slowly.  I slow everything down. 

      I want you to be able to hear this at a level that you are not all pumped up and excited about, but a level that goes in there (into the subconscious part of your system-into every cell in your body) and becomes an operating principle instead of just information.  Something you know.  It might become a place to come from.  I want to slow your mind down.  I don't want you racing out ahead of what I am talking about into your own future.  

    This future-racing that we do is really the problem as far as success is concerned. If people would simply slow down and focus on the beautiful details right here they might thrive. 

    Choose a few good money-making skills and practice them slowly. Wonderful things would happen.

     But rather than practicing core skills, I find my client, Reed, pasting photos all over his office…photos of hot cars and hot women and seaside mansions. Michael Buble is singing loudly from the speakers on Reed's computer:

So you want to be a rock star
with blue-eyed bunnies in your bed
well remember when you're rich
that you sold yourself for this
you'll be famous cause you're dead

Reed explains to me that he is utilizing the law of attraction. He says that one cannot have blue-eyed bunnies in one's bed without first picturing them there.

    I sit Reed down for his coaching session, and I say, "Let's take this idea of attraction first. If you really want to succeed, one of the first things you want to eliminate from your mind is this thing called attraction."

    Reed looks stunned. His whole office is geared up for a harmonic convergence. He believes he can create a vortex for abundance in his mind and in this very room. 

    "I'm trying to develop a passion," he says, "for attracting what I want. I'm including passion on that list."

     Reed points to the word "PASSION!" written in deep purple on his wall.

     He says, "I want to learn to live with passion."

     I look at Reed and he looks exhausted. I can tell he's been working on his room a long time.

     Reed is not unusual. Spoiled as a child, he has been conditioned to always wonder whose boots he has to lick to get what he wants. Who will give it to him? The universe? I need to tell him that there is no universe. Can he handle that yet?

     Reed is not unusual.

     Prospective coaching clients often begin their calls with these words,"I want to attract things into my life.  I want to find a way to attract wealth.  I want to find a way to attract a spouse.  I want to find a way to attract customers to my website.  I want to find a way to attract clients into my world." 

    I recommend that they drop that. I ask them to look back through their lives and notice how it does not work.  I would only drop it because it does not work.  

     I've worked with people for over 20 years and I have never seen "attraction" work.  Therefore I would drop it from my repertoire (my vocabulary) especially from inside that part of my mind that carries the morbid, toxic beliefs around with me that keep me from succeeding.  

     This thing called attraction-attracting a partner, attracting customers, attracting money, attracting wealth, attracting good contacts and stuff-is often associated with life coaching. Or new age spirituality wherein we harmonize with the vortex and cuddle up with the universe so that the universe finally begins to bless us.

     It's childhood all over again. What do I think Mom's going to give me for my birthday?? It's exciting! What am I going to get? It's all about wishing and hoping for things, so it's the opposite of what good coaching brings about.

     Coaching empowers people. Coaching does not relate to what everyone else is calling "the universe."

     I want to drop "attraction" as a strategy only because it doesn't work.   Have I repeated that enough times?  Because repetition (annoying as it is) has you get it. So you might end up not liking me, but getting it.  So that would be OK with me.  I mean, that would be perfect for me.  I'm not here to attract admirers.  I'm really here to have these principles get inside people who are interested in how and why coaching works. 

     Once I drop my love affair with the idea of attraction, what can I replace it with?  I mean, I might want a spouse or a partner. Am I to now be deliberately unattractive? I might want customers or clients.  I might want wealth coming into my life.  So if I'm not going to be utilizing the law of attraction, if I'm not going to sit quietly and picture these things coming into my world, then what can I do instead?

     What I recommend for people to do is make a difference. To actually make a difference all day, every day by using creation.  By substituting creation for where they once had attraction as their operating system.  Rather than attracting a partner, I want to create a relationship. Now I can become active.  I can join clubs, I join church groups and connect with civilization.

     I remember once, many years ago, I joined a group of single parents with children. I had full custody of my kids as did the other single parents in our group and it was really fun.  But I created that activity, and so I made my life different than it was which is called making a difference.  

     Making a difference has you be creative throughout the day instead of sitting back wondering how to attract things.

     Here's the main problem with attraction as an operating principle.  This is why it's dysfunctional. Attraction immediately assumes that there are things (people, money, whatever) outside of you, out there somewhere, that need to come into your world for you to be happy.  That's what attraction is all about.  Moving something from the outside to the inside. Therefore the whole theme of attraction….the whole principle of attraction…is that you are not enough.  

     You don't have what it takes.

     That's the starting point. That's the beginning premise. You are not enough. You are incomplete. You are missing something major. You are a damaged self.

     And that's a very weak way to start your day.

     To believe that you don't have…inside of you…the resources to make you happy.  You need to have it all come to you from the outside.  You need to have it come in from what you fearfully regard as "the universe." It's the same old punishing God paranoia that the ancients had, only dressed up in a new age "universe" language.

     To be complete? I need to attract, from the universe, a beautiful new partner, more clients, more money, a perfect job, more hits on the website!  With attraction as my belief, all these things must come to me from the outside for me to be happy.

     That has me walking around deficient as a human. And when my self-concept is deficiency, how bold and confident can I be in my communications today? It's my communications that will bring me success, not the universe. But because I have begun my day focusing on my laundry list of deficiencies (dressed up as goals and dreams) I am weak and scared. Because I am not enough.

    I am trying to "attract" what would complete me, and my whole day is about that.

    It leads to low self-esteem.  It leads to becoming someone that other people don't want to be around.  We love being around people who have enough.  Who love their lives, who are in love with life because they've got everything they would ever need to be happy.  We love being around people like that and we are (dare I say it-I shouldn't even say this) we are attracted to people like that.

    My coach taught me to turn my life around completely, so that my focus was on strengthening the inside instead of focusing so much on what was missing from the outside.

     My coach Steve Hardison taught me that when I did look to the outside, it was always to see where I might be able to make a difference. Rather than to whom I needed to impress or win over. I was to look for where I could make a difference in someone's life.

Comments

[Andrea]

. We are constantly thnkiing thoughts, and those thoughts produce feelings (vibration). The Law of Attraction teaches us how to deliberately attract more of what we want (as opposed to unconsciously attracting what we don't). What Losier shows us is that how we feel about something and what we focus upon attracts situations and people with matching vibration. He then gives us tools to raise our vibration, and attract our ideal situation which is exciting! The three-step formula for deliberate attraction is: *Identify your desire *Raise your vibration *Allow it The instructions are clear and simple, and can be performed quickly. Losier provides two case studies, and guides you through the three-step process with worksheets. There is even a webpage listed in the book where you can download additional worksheets. I've read other Law of Attraction books, but something seemed to be missing. I found the process frustrating and disheartening, quite frankly, and gave up on the concept (despite knowing there was truth to it). Losier provides the missing piece through his Clarity Through Contrast worksheet, as well as the Desire Statement. Both of these exercises focus our attention on an ideal, so it's easy to get excited about attracting what you desire. I think this is why so many people have trouble with affirmations: you don't feel good about saying a situation is one way, when it is really another. So while positive thnkiing alone may help with redirecting thoughts, they don't blow our fan , as Losier is wont to say, until those thoughts are accompanied by positive feelings. ~My Personal Experience~ After I read this book (it's a quick read), I printed out the Worksheets online, and completed them as instructed. I knew immediately what I wanted to attract even before I finished the book: my ideal experience writing my first novel. Up until a few days ago, I had experienced huge resistance to writing my novel. I'd get sick to my stomach and procrastinate because I dreaded sitting down and writing. (This process has been going on for well over a year, with my procrastination often lasting weeks or months). Yet, I had an outline, plot direction, interesting characters, and unblocked creativity. In fact, when I actually did write, it went quite well. So what was wrong with me?! This creative angst has been hanging over me , and I couldn't figure out why my willpower wasn't enough. I did all the worksheets

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I'm interested in such offer,The sound quality in these podcasts is really poor. I feel bad about complaining about something that is free, but I think it is important.

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Enjoy your blog very much. I have read your chest on frame article noticed you make your own forged nails from common nails. I wonder if you might tell how you do this in a future blog.

[Richingate]

The only sane thing I have read about the law of attraction!

best wishes,

Richard

[Stephenlahey]

You're right, Steve. Buying into the "law" of attraction is not only silly, it's destructive.

[Steve chandler]

thank you Ann

i gree with what you SEE

be blessed,

Steve

(I hope to see you in London)

[Ann Strong]

Wow! Thank you, Steve Chandler, for looking out in the world long enough to notice that this is a place you could make a difference in my life.

In this very moment, I am shifting my focus away from thinking I NEED TO ATTRACT anything and onto strengthening who I am BEING and offering the strength of me where I notice I can make a difference.

Thank you, Steve, for slowing down to serve me in this powerful way! Loving and appreciating you and your commitment to serving.