iMindShift with Steve Chandler

RETURN TO ME

  This is a picture of my wife Kathy in a restaurant in Chicago where we held a recent two day seminar-workshop meeting of the Coaching School.

     Kathy is a writer (and a blogger) with a great sense of humor, especially when it comes to making me look hilariously inept as a human. The problem is that she is unerringly accurate. You who may have admired me in the past can experience a fun mind-shifted reversal on that opinion by reading her blog here:  www.girlsinwhitedresses.blogspot.com

    She calls her blog In My Humble (but always correct) Opinion.

   (Her other stuff is fun and funny too. How did I get stuck with the happiest writer alive?)

 Chicago is cloudy and windy and we were on a boat today doing one of the "architecture tours" up and down the Chicago river and out onto Lake Michigan, taking in the skyscrapers and hearing all the stories about the Fire and the rebuilding of Chicago. I knew this tour existed because of the movie The Breakup wherein Vince Vaughan played a tour guide on one of these very boats.

    Notice how movies affect our travel.

    The movie Return to Me was filmed in Chicago in 1999 and Kathy has seen it many times. It's a heartbreakingly romantic film starring David Duchovney and Minnie Driver. Minnie has literally just received a heart transplant, and I won't give away the rest except for the fact that most of it is filmed in a charming little restaurant, where, of course we went to eat. It's called the Twin Anchors. Turns out Sinatra used to eat there. He would always order their famous ribs (which I ordered) and the story was that he would say to the waitress, "Ribs... and keep 'em comin'!" This little story was on the menu and I was tempted to say the same thing but I did not, and I was glad because one huge serving was more than enough.

     Kathy took notes for a future blog as I ate my ribs.

  Speaking of blogs. Tom Wolfe, in an essay about Marshall McLuhan years ago described a "digital civilization, in which all of humanity will be wired up and online so that geographic locations and national boundaries, or so it’s predicted, will become irrelevant."

     And in a way this has happened. Because we went to the Lincoln Park zoo (which I had already seen in movies,) and this zoo, like the whole Chicago scene, was extremely familiar from digital sources, like movies and TV.

     But just how "real" is a movie? Or a live streaming video cam on my computer just now? Or Skype? I often work with clients now on Skype, and they may be in London, England, but they are LIVE to me on my screen in the office! Am I actually seeing and experiencing them in London itself?

    If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, does it make a sound?  I have always wondered about the IQ of people who ask that question and then get that faraway metaphysical look in their eyes as if pondering a deep zen koan. Of course it does NOT make a sound if there is no one there, because "sound" is a vibration's interaction with a human or animal's ear. With no receptor ear to capture the vibration and translate it into "sound" in one's brain, there is no sound. Is that so hard to understand?

    But here's where it gets interesting for me. My experience of you, on voicemail is a result of my ears hearing a vibration made originally by your voice. Your voice vibration was "captured" by the voicemail receiver and now I play it and it sounds exactly like you sound when you are "really" there.

    If we get more technical, it's not the "real" you I hear even when you are live at the other end of the phone. It's an electronic transmission of your vibration made at the point of origin.

    Welcome to a digital civilization in which my travel reports are more about the movies about Chicago than they are about Chicago itself. (Although most of that is because I am such a poor descriptive writer.)

   Take enough LSD and a movie can be experienced as more real than reality. (Certain films, like Alligator People or The Exorcist, are films you never want to see while on acid.)

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     JOHN GROBERG IS BRILLIANT

   Have you ever considered doing yoga, because you've read that many great pro football players and actors and dancers and triathletes do it? And then you realize that it is going to take a lot of time to go to your lesson and come back? And your fulfilled day doesn't have the space in it for yoga?

   There is an exciting solution.

   My friend John Groberg has solved the problem.

   You MUST check out his exciting new system called SPIRAL UP YOGA (http://spiralupyoga.com/) that only takes five minutes a day to do. Here are his own words:

    There comes a point in everyone’s journey of personal growth when they realize that creating and maintaining a self-care practice is an essential foundation for continual growth, health, well-being and creative inspiration. It is also a source of resilience, strength, perspective and peace of mind during particularly challenging times when things aren’t going the way you might prefer.  

     By “Self Care” I mean more than just an exercise program. I mean a daily, sustainable practice that feeds and nourishes body, mind and soul. Practices that only include one or two of the three elements are good, but not complete- and are usually not sustainable in the long run because if either the body, the mind or the soul is neglected enough, the whole system of You becomes unstable- like a three legged stool with one or more weak legs. 

    GO HERE NOW: http://spiralupyoga.com/

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   NOTICE to ANY COACH reading this blog.....I have just finished recording the best audio recording ever done on how coaches can create clients, and because I am a huge advocate of coaches getting clients and thereby influencing the world away from its drift toward infantilism, impotence and mental victimization, I will send you this hot program if you email me and ask me for it: [email protected]

 

WALT DISNEY FAILS!

    Walt Disney tried to join the army but failed the physical exam. Then he joined the Red Cross and served in France for a year or so before coming home to start a little company called Laugh-o-Grams. He went bankrupt.

     And by failing at that he acquired the new directions he needed to become the successful Walt Disney and create the studios we all know and love.

     Without failure, no success. And it's more than that: failure is the very road to success. By trying things, being out there in life, we learn what does not work. And by knowing what doesn't work we get closer to what works. Every day.

     If we stay in the game.

     If we don't demonize failure or become superstitious about what failure means....  if we don't take failure personally we can continue to fail.

     To learn to play a piece on my guitar I have to first fail to play it. Then fail again. 

     This is why older people have such a hard time getting themselves to learn something new. Learning requires failure and grown-ups have developed a deep fear of failure that kids don't have.

     To learn a language, you have to embarrass yourself and fail to say the phrase properly and let people laugh at you. What grown-up wants to go through that process?

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     "Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness 
to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. 
That is why young children, before they are aware 
of their own self-importance, learn so easily."

~ Dr. Thomas Szasz

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     Randy Stuart sent me a fantastic comment in response to my current blog on the secret power of FAILURE in my life.

     "My friend Marc, a fantastic photographer, was getting frustrated by not getting into any of the many photo contests he had entered. Not just not winning, but not even getting in. He arrived at a beautiful plan which he called the Epic Fail. His new goal was to try and fail as grandly as he possibly could. And if he failed enough, eventually he would fail at failing...and thereby succeed at what he was after to begin with. Fail so badly that you win by failing. Genius!"

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ON TO CHICAGO!
 

    Now that we have had a little over two months of this Coaching Prosperity School experience (there were six schools before this one), I can say I'm more than pleased with how well we are achieving our objective.

    Our objective is to teach coaches how to get clients. That's it. Simple, pure and strong.

    And I am getting emails about successes coaches have already created doing this school, even after only two months (we've had a very uplifting LIVE two-day conference/workshop in Phoenix, twp phone-in Webinars, peer coaching, many daily messages direct from me to our coaches, and mailings of  books and CDs) ....

    You can join any time. Your year starts the moment you join. If you wait a day you miss that day's message.

    Why are coaches reporting successes already? Mostly because what we teach is radical and unorthodox, so it's an exciting experiment for a coach to try. So they actually try it. They DO things.

    Most other coaching-training programs get it wrong. I've studied most of them in the past year (hoping to learn things to add to our school) and I find that their systems for getting clients are old-school marketing ideas that would work ONLY if the service or product were a very low-priced item, like a CD series or an eBook or a Teleseminar. Their sales and marketing systems do NOT work for acquiring good coaching clients.

    In fact, they are counterproductive. In my many years of coaching coaches I have never even once seen a coach successfully use these marketing techniques for anything other than the lowest priced memberships, free sessions, eBooks, etc. I have never seen them work for getting coaching clients.

    We teach enrollment, invitation, conversation and demonstration. We teach it because it works when applied. We teach many levels and variations, and they all work. They've all been real-world successful.

    We also provide community. Real live colleagues to work with and develop lifelong friendships with. Coaches getting to know other coaches to create the bonds that strengthen confidence and a feeling of belonging.

    One of the downsides of being a coach is that sense of isolation. Being "lost and afraid in a world I never made." You don't want that. That will not encourage success. You want other coaches in your world building you up and cheering you on... even sharing their secrets with you on how to get clients, how to charge bigger fees and how to build a very prosperous career. In this school, we are family. At our workshops we learn a lot of profound things, but we also have fun. We go out to meals together. We even sing.

   This thing called coaching prosperity doesn't have to be such a dismal grind. It can be a real joy.

    As much fun as all this is, I never want to lose sight of the principal objective: clients. If you are a coach in my school, I want you to have clients; in ever-increasing numbers at ever-expanding fees so that coaching for you becomes as reliably rewarding, financially, as being a doctor or lawyer or company CEO would be.

    Why shouldn't the best profession in the world be rewarding?

     That's why I'm so pleased that the coaches in this school are reporting to me that it is happening for them. And we're only a couple months old. Wait till the Chicago workshops kick in! (end of October. You can still go.)

     If you're considering my school send me your address and we'll send you a gift pack. Email here: [email protected].

    And yes we teach coaches how to fail. If you are in the right kinds of communications, failing to get clients much of the time, your practice will grow. Only fear of failure can stop you.

    Most coaches don't get clients because they keep trying to take short cuts. Our school teaches the LONG CUT.

    Most coaches never learn. They never get the knowledge necessary to build prosperity... in fact, they avoid that knowledge which is why they attempt marketing and PR and salesy SHORT CUTS to getting clients.

   We teach the knowledge of the long cut.

    H. L. Mencken once wrote, "The inferior man's reasons for hating knowledge are not hard to discern. He hates it because it is complex-- because it puts an unbearable burden on his meager capacity for taking in ideas. Thus his search is always for short cuts. All superstitions are short cuts. Their aim is to make the unintelligible simple, and even obvious."

     www.coachingprosperityschool.com

KISSIN' at the DRIVE-IN

 
 
"Start where you are. Distant fields always look greener, 
but opportunity lies right where you are."

~ Robert Collier

     Sometimes the circumstances look all wrong. 

        Things aren't perfect. 

        Should we go ahead anyway? 

        How do we decide?
       
        In a distant book months ago I used the example of Troy Shondell ... he had been a hero of mine in the early 1960s when Shondell was a teen idol singer. 
     
      Influenced by the late Buddy Holly, Elvis, Little Richard and many more of the early rockers, Troy Shondell began his singing career while still in high school in Fort Wayne, Indiana. One of his first local recordings was "Kissin' at the Drive-In" on Mercury Records. That record became a big regional hit that gained him hope for future national attention. (Please don't say you don't remember "Kissin at the Drive-In"!)
      
      Troy's fame soon spread to the Chicago area where he and his band became the first rock band to ever appear at the then famous Brass Rail blues and jazz club in downtown Chicago. Troy and his band had fans standing in line to watch rock 'n' roll for the first time in downtown Chicago. But the momentum didn't hold, and Troy bounced from small label to small label without much luck. 
      
       Then, in October of 1960, Troy's father died of a heart attack. With his father's death, Troy's mother inherited a small business that was her only income. In order to keep it going she asked Troy to come home and help her. His dream of hit music would have to wait. So Troy quit the band and gave up music so he could help with the immediate crisis. 
      
        In February 1961 his mother encouraged Troy to audition for an extra part in a movie being filmed locally after seeing an ad in the local paper. At the audition a man familiar with Troy's music said he would finance a recording session if Troy would consider trying it again. Troy was overjoyed, especially since he had been hanging on to a special song just in case an opportunity like this came along. It was a song that a local disc jockey in Fort Wayne had called to Troy's attention. The song was called "This Time (We're Really Breaking Up)".
       
       There was a tremendous blizzard the day of the recording session on April 1, 1961 in Batavia, Illinois, and only three musicians were able to make it to the session---a guitar player, a sax player, and a drummer. Should they even do this session? Where would the bass sound come from? 
     
       It didn't seem like the best time to try for a big comeback recording.  
     
       But maybe timing wasn't everything. 

       Maybe desire and passion meant more than timing.
     
       The session was a go. Troy played piano, vibes and worked hard to get a bass-type sound out of his guitar. He completely threw himself into a heartbreakingly great vocal performance of "This Time." They were exhausted at the end of the session, but they'd made the record. And now it was time to play it for the world.
     
     But every record company in Chicago turned it down. 
     
     So Troy decided to start his own label. At least that way he would have an actual vinyl disk to play. And one day while visiting WJJD in Chicago, Troy tried to get air play for the record he knew represented his future, even if it meant he had to beg. Luckily that night the DJ was a former supporter of Troy's and he took pity on the desperate singer. He got permission from the station to play "This Time" but only once and it had to be on his "Rate the Record" show, airing late in the evening. It was a gamble for Troy, because the records that lost the phone-in contest were never to be played again. Troy's record---the one recorded in the blizzard with only three musicians---won the contest!  Troy's sparse and haunting "This Time" had stunned listeners with its beauty, pain and passion. Now in rotation at that station, the record began to sell. In fact, 10,000 copies were sold the very first week! "This Time" topped the charts for an unprecedented 16 weeks during the summer of '61. 
       
       Although other successes would follow for Troy, none of the others might ever have happened without "This Time." "This Time" went on to sell over three million copies that first year!  
    
        Many people would have used that blizzard in Illinois in April of 1961 as a reason to postpone the session. The timing wasn't right. They didn't even have a bass player! How are you going to get your bass sound? With a guitar? Bad timing if there ever was bad timing.
      
         But Troy Shondell put enough passion into that stormy night to electrify a whole nation of teenage record buyers. Even today, the record sounds great and the sparse and funky production values only heighten its impact. It feels raw and real. You can download the record today and crank it up. And don't miss the message as you listen. 
    
         Circumstance is nothing…passion is everything.
     
          Every once in a while I put a little slogan up in my office that says "Doing it now is more important than doing it right." I don't mean don't do it as well as you can, I just mean if you wait until the timing is perfect, it'll never happen. Someday is code for never. Just do it now. This time. 

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Me and Stephen McGhee

      Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. That's why my special guest at my coaching school webinar this month is Stephen McGhee, a master coach with a lot to say ... and someone who lives everything he teaches.

      People are joining my school in droves now that I have LOWERED THE ENTRY FEE to $900 ... no longer do coaches have to figure out where they are going to get three thousand dollars to join us .....

    McGhee and I will deliver an interview/webinar that all the coaches in the school will want to play over and over ... because in the past he has talked a great deal about his skills as a transformative coach, a mountain climber an author and all those kinds of worldly success topics ... but this time he's going to reveal his innermost deep secrets about getting clients, charging high fees, and being a millionaire coach whose clients re-enlist with over and over again ... go to www.coachingprosperityschool.com to get in on this immediately ... 

     McGhee wrote this: "One year when I was running up Imogene pass, I thought I was going to vomit because I was so sick from fatigue, the altitude, steep incline, and my lack of sleep, etc. My body hurt so bad and my feet were bleeding from the blisters forming in my wet socks. I wanted to quit. Who would know? I could slide into the forest and everyone would think I was just going to visit “mother nature”. God it hurts, I thought! Why me? Not now!

        "Magically, I glanced over to an older gentleman with a grey beard and shoulder length hair. He was lean. His eyes glimmered with purpose and Gods Light. He could see my pain. He could see that I was hurting so badly that I was about ready to cry. My eyes were swollen with tears and pain. He gently put his hand on my right shoulder. His touch was strong and loving. I looked into his beaming smile. He said “Just take the next step my friend”…and “then the next one”…”you will get there”. That was all he ever said. That was it. There was no other verbal communication.

         "I heard him and I felt his wisdom to my core. My mind shifted. It happened so fast, I almost heard it click. I took the next step and suddenly I was picking up the pace again. I could feel him running near me. I could feel two spirits unite in the purpose of stepping forward. I was relieved. I was feeling strong. I felt so strong that eventually my angel friend and I caught up with the pace of our group. That was a cool feeling! Finally and gracefully we reached the summit."

        "So now. In what area of your life and business do you need to keep stepping? Where do you feel fatigued? What project, relationship, and situation are you currently dealing with that requires the next step? Most of us are thinking about the problems or the Herculean effort to finish. If you feel stuck…don’t worry about the finish line. Just take the next step." 

Post traumatic growth

 

     Sixteen-year-old Jaydin Goldenstein's mother died April 27th, while he was at her bedside. The very next day he was scheduled to play baseball for his high school team in Holyoke, Colorado. It would be a double-header, and he decided to play.

    The coach almost overruled him, worried about his emotional state, but Jaydin wanted to play.

     In the first game he pitched a no-hitter. In the second game he hit four home runs.

      When I read this story it called to mind the work Dr. Martin Seligman is doing with soldiers coming home from the war. He is helping them access a very real phenomenon he calls "post traumatic growth." A response to stress that is powerful and positive.

     General David Petraeus was so impressed with Seligman's work that he said, "That is a big idea, Dr. Seligman... producing more post-traumatic growth rather than just focusing on post-traumatic stress disorder, and approaching training through our soldiers' strengths rather than drilling their weaknesses out of them."

    Dr. Seligman is best known for his book and work called Learned Optimism. His new book Flourish is even more exciting than that one, in my opinion, because he's now had years to apply his findings and expand his influence.

     "If all a soldier knows about is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and not about resilience and growth, it creates a self-fulfilling downward spiral," says Seligman.

      There is a mind shift that happens when you move from stress and pain into resilience and growth. It's a completely different response. Seligman's research shows that resilience and growth are more likely to be your response to trauma, but we just never hear about it. All we hear about is the disorder and the pain. Tragedy sells, and it gets more attention than strength and courage so it forms the false perception that depression and collapse are "normal." Once it's seen as normal it's hard not to just go there. Into the downward spiral. It's all the rage.

    But look at what Jaydin Goldenstein did.

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     Justin Rohner is a wonderful young business coach whose high IQ, high energy and passion for his clients' success transforms people. Changes people. From unsuccessful to successful. From scarcity to prosperity. He is a graduate of my own coaching prosperity school so I am proud of his work and want every small business owner to work with him.

     For example: Greg, a franchise owner, turned his nearly bankrupt business into the #1 fastest growing bakery in the country in less than 3 months! His total sales have increased by an average of 34.2% each quarter for the last 3 years since joining the group in 2008! As wonderful as that is, if you asked him, he'd tell you the best part about his experience in Justin Rohner's group, is the improved business culture, increased automation of operations, and the increased time he now has to golf, travel, play, and how his relationship with his daughters and son have improved. By courageously applying the concepts he not only dramatically improved his business, he improved his entire life. (www.BreadSmith.com).

    Justin is opening, by popular demand, a new business intensive group and seating is limited but results are not. Check it out: www.MyBusinessIntensive.com

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I want every coach on the planet to prosper

* * *

because then their clients will soon do the same

* * *

and we will have turned the world around

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one coach at a time

* * *

 

     Will Keiper is a prosperous and internationally known business consultant with clients all over the world. He is so gifted in taking companies in distress and turning them around that he doesn't have time to serve all who need him.

    Yet Will is so dedicated to his own craft, sharpening his saw, and studying the art of sales and enrollment, that he is in my current coaching school as a student. A perpetual student. He's also writing a powerful, game-changing book about which I will tell you more later.

   For now you can enjoy the photos he sent me from China with clients and friends, and you can read the latest email he has sent and see if it interests you:

    “Steve—I believe so strongly in your unique ability to enable every coach to prosper where they are if they simply apply the disciplines you have proven over 20 years—that I will pay the cost of this course for someone you believe must learn the disciplines to be successful but has been unwilling to commit to the modest investment, or who doesn’t believe their world will change by committing to your Coaching Prosperity School. This is my gift to you—to deliver as you see fit, to the candidate of your choosing. Just send me an invoice, and I will gladly pay it with no questions asked.”

 
 
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www.coachingprosperityschool.com

Time to leave your cocoon

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"When a butterfly has emerged,
it can never turn back into a caterpillar."
~Colin Wilson

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     My friend James Price is pictured up above and, yes, that's a real butterfly, a huge butterfly that flew into a small village camp in the Gulf of Thailand that James was staying in.

     James loves traveling the world even though he is a master coach whose clients miss him when he leaves the country. He is extremely prosperous because his coaching is so loving and powerful (www.polariscoaching.com) and also because he's a grad of my coaching school. Visit his website. It is cool, I promise. James is a photographer, one of the world's best, as you'll see on his website.

*      *      *     *     *     *

     My motive in writing my first mystery (The Woman Who Attracted Money) was to introduce people to coaching. In the book, life coach Robert Chance has some coaching sessions with Madison Kerr. The reader gets to see how a coach thinks and works, and how a client's world opens like a butterfly. 

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     The biggest intellectual breakthrough in the life of the great poet William Butler Yeats came when he realized that happiness and growth were the same thing. "Happiness is neither this nor that," he said. "Happiness is growth. We are happy when we are growing."  You can notice this for yourself: You are happy when you are growing, are you not?  And no growth you've ever made has ever been effortless.

     Watch the nature film of a butterfly struggling to push through the cocoon. You will see effort. You will be moved by the effort. You will see the animating force within a living being. It's the force of a powerful reinvention. Watch the movie Rocky. You will see the hidden connection between effort and joy. Pay attention to your reactions to certain scenes in movies. Pay attention to your goose bumps and your tears. They come in response to courage and effort. They don't come in response to a scene in which someone is being comfortable. Pay attention to why you are choked up. It is your potential self trying to tell you something. It's the butterfly in your own cocoon. It wants out.

 

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     Even a subtle (mind)SHIFT in our thinking

     "In 1960, Edward Lorenz, a research meteorologist at MIT, created an incredibly accurate computer program designed to model the weather. Then, one day, Lorenz took a short-cut, rounding off a decimal point. But this tiny change made a huge difference. The popular notion was that if you barely change a cause, you'll barely alter the outcome. In fact, Lorenz saw that a tiny change could drastically affect the weather. The name for this phenomenon is called "the butterfly effect", that is, tiny changes brought about by a butterfly moving its wings in San Francisco can transform the weather in Shanghai.  Even a subtle change in our thinking can have a butterfly effect on our lives. Lift your thinking just a little higher, and the outcome will be greater beyond your power to predict."
~Mary Manin Morrissey 

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     You can create a new self by learning the beliefs you want to live by-one thought at a time. Learn these thoughts as you would the lyrics for a song you had to perform on stage. A friend of mine used to learn his parts in musicals by placing index cards with song lyrics all over his office, home and bathroom mirror. He sometimes had them on the dashboard of his car. Why? He was making a conscious visual effort to reach the backside of his own mind.

       The trick is to keep your motivation going. To deliberately feed your spirit with the optimistic ideas you want to live by. Any time a thought or sentence or paragraph inspires you or opens up your thinking, you need to capture it, like a butterfly in a net, and later release it into your own field of consciousness.

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     The new coaching prosperity school is off and running with 37 wonderful and fun coaches in it ... from all over the world! England, Texas, Greece, The Czech Republic, all over ... what do they have in common?

    They are not embarrassed to raise their client acquisition skills to a level that produces financial security for them. Why not do that? I believe so strongly in coaching (because of what it has done for my life and the lives of my friends) that my definite major purpose in life today is to make coaches happy and financially free. At last.

     This school has rolling admission and you can join any time and you get your full year with us from that day forward. If you are a coach and you have NOT joined our school yet, you can do so here: www.coachingprosperityschool.com.

     Then you can come to Chicago and rock and roll with us there...and the MINUTE you join you receive all kinds of gifts and goodies from me, including daily messages that boost your practice and other stuff too good to even talk about.

     Tony Robbins does his firewalk to test the readiness of his students .... Me? I have coaches come to Phoenix in the month of July. A much more interesting challenge. (Though in October they will be coming to Chicago to see the leaves change along with their fortunes.)

      (and by the way if you are not a coach and wonder why you are reading this I want to promise you something COACHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD yes YOUR WORLD whether you ever coach or not... so it's never a bad idea to read up on it.)

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 "There is at bottom, only one problem in the world and this is its name. 
 How does one break through? 
How does one get into the open? 
How does one burst the cocoon and become a butterfly?"
~ Thomas Mann

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www.coachingprosperityschool.com

Why not just do things?

 
 
"The question isn't, Who is going to let me;
it's Who is going to stop me?"

~ Ayn Rand

    The book Time Warrior has just been added to the curriculum at the University of Santa Monica, whose spiritual psychology program has produced some of the greatest coaches in the world.  

    In the book I talk about how I love the question that Ayn Rand prefers. Because for most of my life I was asking the other question: Who is going to let me?

    I was looking outside myself for permission and approval all day. A very nasty habit that leads to poverty and broken relationships.

    But a habit all the same. A habit almost every single one of us acquires in childhood. The quest for permission and approval. It's how childhood is run. It's how we are domesticated so that we aren't just running with the wolves.

    But it's a habit that does not serve the grown up mature adult at all. In fact, it is the very habit that eventually eats away at the spirit of the grown person.

    When my songwriting partner Fred Knipe and I wrote a song called "I Can't Get To You From Here" we, of course, never knew if anyone outside of our families would ever hear it. We created the song anyway. We didn't think about the approval of others, because that would have stopped the creation of the song.

     Now more than 70,000 people have watched the YouTube version of the song which you can see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzrljQ0Euto

      It wasn't a matter of "who's going to let us" write songs for a living. It was a matter of "Who's going to stop us?"

  

     Speaking of Fred Knipe, pictured above, he is also Dr. Ludiker, my favorite comedian, find him here: www.fredknipe.com and it's almost too hilarious for words. I have friends who go there and then call me weeping because they have been laughing so hard. Go there. But don't go there with a hot cup of coffee in your hands or you will scald yourself and then you will sue me. Fred Knipe is also a wonderful writer of songs and poetry. Here is a poem he sent me that he wrote for people who were reading the news and becoming fearful......it sums all this up rather nicely:

What can kill you matters little. 
What can spoil living matters. 
What spoils living is too much attention 
to what can kill you.

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     Who is stopping me from doing things?

"Because most people never define the necessary required
actions to get a result, they will always simply do whatever actions are
comfortable at the time. They are always going with the feeling of
activity instead of insisting on doing the necessary required action."

~ Dusan Djukich, Straight Line Leadership

     People have dreams but they don't live those dreams. They talk about their dreams sometimes after a glass of wine or two, but when will the dream come true?
  
      The first thing a good coach will do is find the dream---even if it's lodged inside a complaint about life. Then the next thing the coach will do is help transform the dream into a doable project. Because it's not in the dreams that great things happen, but in the projects and actions inspired by the dreams.
  
      Vladimir Nabokov said this in Speak Memory: "It is certainly not then---not in dreams---but when one is wide awake, at moments of robust joy and achievement, on the highest terrace of consciousness, that mortality has a chance to peer beyond its own limits." 
  
      Psychotherapy is all about feelings. But coaching is all about achievement … robust joy and achievement. Your coach doesn't just want you to feel better about yourself. Your coach wants you to feel what it feels like to achieve something remarkable.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

FOR COACHES: BIG NEWS:

     The Coaching Prosperity School is no longer a $9,000 fee and it is no longer six months. The new version, PROSPERITY 2.0, lasts a full year and has a $3,000 tuition. Go here: www.coachingprosperityschool.com.

     The great nationally-known coach Stephen McGhee said, 
"Steve Chandler's coaching school is the most powerful thing I have done for my business in over 10 years. My prior mid six figure income is now skyrocketing and at the same time I am enjoying more peace and calm in my daily business. I actually took off two days last week. This is how I imagined my consulting and coaching practice could be. Chandler’s school is both practical and magical. If you are fortunate enough to attend this class…just do it. Don’t let your reasons stop you. It would be like having a winning lottery ticket in your hand and then not scratching off the winning numbers to cash it in. I highly recommend you enroll in this class and move your business to prosperity." ~ STEPHEN McGHEE

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

     Any COACH who is reading this and would like a PDF sneak preview of my upcoming book, The LIFE COACHING CONNECTION, please email me immediately at [email protected] and I'll send it to you...........

   Coaches becoming prosperous....that's what will change the entire world picture. Because coaches have clients and those clients also have clients, so a coach who knows how to impact clients will impact the world. In fact it's already happening.

     Bestselling author and radio show host Iyanla Vanzant conducted a rare interview with the ultimate coach, Steve Hardison. To listen to the interview go here http://www.hayhouseradio.com/episode_preview.php?author_id=108, and then scroll down to find the June 7th interview... "Life coaching is the second fastest growing profession is the country. And, while you may have heard the term, do you know exactly what a life coach does? Do you need a life coach? How do you choose one? Listen in as Iyanla talks with her very own life coach—Steve Hardison. Learn more about this fascinating career field and life support opportunity!"

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

www.coachingprosperityschool.com

 
 

JUST PUT IN THE TIME

 

   Good advice from Mark Cuban...

     “Who lives their lives worried about what someone else thinks?” Cuban once told sports scribes. “Before you guys were writing about me in the sports page, people were calling me crazy in the computer industry. People were calling me crazy in the systems- integration industry. People said I was lucky. .?.?. The more people think I’m crazy and out of my mind, typically, the better I do.”

     “Everything I read was public. Anyone could buy the same books and magazines. The same information was available to anyone who wanted it. Turns out most people didn’t want it. I remember going into customers or talking to people in the industry and tossing out tidbits about software or hardware. Features that worked, bugs in the software. All things I had read. I expected the ongoing response of “Oh yeah, I read that too in such-and-such.” That’s not what happened. They hadn’t read it then, and they haven’t started reading yet. Most people won’t put in the time to get a knowledge advantage. Sure, there were folks that worked hard at picking up every bit of information that they could, but we were few and far between. To this day, I feel like if I put in enough time consuming all the information available, particularly with the Internet making it so readily available, I can get an advantage in any technology business. Of course my wife hates that I read more than 3 hours almost every day, but it gives me a level of comfort and confidence in my businesses. At MicroSolutions it gave me a huge advantage. A guy with little computer background could compete with far more experienced guys just because I put in the time to learn all I could.”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

     RON WILDER at the COACHING SCHOOL

 

     Supercoach Ron Wilder is on the faculty at the prosperity school this year  (www.coachingprosperityschool.com), and you'll be treated to refreshing doses of his genius throughout the two-day live events.

     Ron's a very successful business coach who also specializes in coaching coaches.  When it comes to teaching you how to communicate with a prospective client, how to construct effective dialogues and how to obtain clients quickly and effectively, Ron has no peer. You will know immediately that you are in the presence of the best of the best. I am absolutely thrilled to have him with me as a co-facilitator and advisor to coaches in this school.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

     I BREAK BOTTLES

 

 

   My intention when I write books or coach people is to break bottles. Now, what do I mean by that?  

     Alan Watts told a wonderful story once about how he and his daughter (a little girl five years old) went to see his Zen master.  They sat at the feet of the Zen master and talked.  Finally the Zen Master decided he would give Alan Watts a koan to solve.  Koans were unsolvable stories and puzzles that the Zen masters gave their students; and the students would go away and continuously try to find the answers and in their frustrated efforts they would either achieve enlightenment or not.

    So the Zen master said to Alan (with his little daughter listening in) here is the puzzle:  You have a bottle and inside the bottle there is a goose trapped in the bottle.  There is no way for the goose to get out of the bottle through the bottleneck- it's too small.  To save the life of the goose, you have to get the goose out of the bottle, but the rule is you cannot break the bottle.  How do you get the goose out of the bottle, without breaking the bottle?

     Alan Watts scratched his head and thought and thought and the little girl looked at the master and said, "I know"  The master said, "OK, how?"  And the little girl said "You break the bottle."  The Zen master smiled.  He looked at Alan Watts and he said, "Children get it every time."

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

     THE UNSUCCESSFUL SUCCESS COACH

 

 

     A FAIRY TALE:

     Fairy Tale - Once upon a time there was an unsuccessful success coach.

    And the unsuccessful success coach would go around trying to get clients and failing to get clients. When he tried to get clients,  he would promise these people that he would try to make them successful.

    Everywhere the unsuccessful success coach went he would say, "Tell me your dreams, and I will help you be successful at living your dream.  I'm a success coach."

     The problem was the unsuccessful success coach himself was unsuccessful. 

     He was unable to get enough clients to feed his family and to keep things going and pay the bills. His wife was upset as every day he came home empty-handed. "I need a new granite counter top!" she shouted. "And the children need iPads!"

    Even though he was telling people on his website, and in his conversations, and in his e-mails, and in the spam and in the shout-outs that he was a "success coach" he himself was unsuccessful.

     One day the unsuccessful success coach was in an airport coming home from an unsuccessful trip during which he attempted unsuccessfully to get a new client. As he sat in the airport, he started to overhear a conversation.  Sitting behind him waiting for the very same plane were two coaches, Steve Chandler and Ron Wilder.   Steve and Ron were talking about some of the activities were they were going to put the coaches through in their upcoming Coaching Prosperity School.  The school had been very successful at teaching coaches to be successful.

    As the unsuccessful success coach continued to overhear the conversation, he began to realized that these two people , Steve Chandler and Ron Wilder, were dedicated to helping coaches get clients----the very thing that the unsuccessful success coach needed to learn and was unable to do!

    Finally, he spoke up.  "I couldn't help overhearing you" he said.  "I'm a coach myself. The problem is I have a hard time getting clients. I guess I just don't know how to do it."

     Steve Chandler looked at him and said "What kind of a coach are you?" and he said "I'm a success coach" and Steve Chandler said, "A success coach!  So what do you coach people to do?" 

    And he said, "Well, I just coach people to become successful.  I help them reach their dreams, I establish projects for them, I hold them accountable, I give them action plans."

     Ron looked at him and said, "But you, yourself, are not successful."

     And the unsuccessful success coach hung his head and said, "I know.  That's kind of a contradiction, isn't it?  Its kind of an embarrassment for me to pull up to a prospect's house in my old car or to have the prospect find out that I am always available, that I really don't have clients."

    "Well, why not take your methods," said Steve Chandler, "and apply them to yourself?  If you really can make people successful, what are you doing going out into the world  making other people successful without making yourself successful first?"

    "Well, I thought it was all about giving and healing and making a difference in the world," said the unsuccessful success coach.  "I just wanted to help people and make a difference.  I am very altruistic-I'm even a little bit like Gandhi and Mother Theresa."

     "Well, how is that working for you?"

     "Well, it's not working.  That's just the point.  I am not getting clients."

     "OK, then here's what we recommend," said Steve Chandler.  "Please enroll in our school.  Our school lasts for a year."

     Immediately the unsuccessful success coach held his hand up.  Steve stopped speaking. The unsuccessful success coach said, "No, no, wait a minute.  I've done that before.  I have been to a number of schools.  I've been certified as a coach.  I've been to coaching institutes.  I'm a certified coach. I know how to coach already."  

     Ron said, "We don't doubt that.  That's not what our school is for.  Our school does not teach people how to coach.  Our school teaches people how to get clients.  Period-----that's it.  The whole school is about that.  It's like the Harvard Business School.  It is not like a liberal arts psychology/philosophy class.  It is hands on business.  Actually, it's even more like a trade school where you learn a trade.  The trade is, in your case, building a successful coaching practice.  What you have forgotten to do is to put the oxygen mask on yourself first."

     "Oxygen mask?"

     "There is a reason why the stewardess says, 'Please put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others in your row.'  Otherwise people to try to save others first.  If they do that, without any oxygen for themselves everyone will die.  They can't help others first. That doesn't work. You might have noticed that.  You cannot help a client you don't have. If you don't have clients, you're not helping anybody.  You are not Mother Theresa and you are not Gandhi.  You are an unsuccessful success coach."

     The unsuccessful success coach was silent, but he nodded his head. He agreed.

     Steve said, "Listen.  Come to our school.  Learn to get clients.  It's that simple."

     The unsuccessful success coach nodded and said, "OK, I will do that." 

     Steve then produced from his belt a tiny device he carried everywhere that allows people to swipe their credit card. He said, "Pull out your card and swipe here so you can be registered in the school and we don't have a lot of nonsense between now and then. We don't have a lot of second thoughts and all the stuff that has you in the position you are right now."

    The unsuccessful success coach looked at the device and he said, "What's that?"  You actually wear that on your belt?  I thought that was your cell phone."

    "No, I carry this everywhere" said Steve. "I don't give free advice.  I am a coach, that is my profession.  I let people swipe their cards before I speak to them." 

    Ron began laughing.  Ron looked at the unsuccessful success coach.  He said, "You know, you've got to get used to Steve.  He's a bit of an entertainer.  He's a provocateur----he does things to wake people up.  He has this device that he can carry on his belt next to his cell phone in case he runs into someone like you.  He runs into people like you all the time.  Do you have your credit card with you?"

    "Yes," said the unsuccessful success coach.  "I do have my card".  Here. 

     It was swiped.

     The unsuccessful success coach was now a student in the year-long Coaching Prosperity School.  He was on his way to becoming a successful success coach.

     The End

     www.coachingprosperityschool.com

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

     OK.  Now let's get real.  No fairy tale.  It's a real problem for a coach to not be successful, prosperous, thriving.  It's a tough place to come from as a coach.  

     To not know how to make yourself successful.  To not know how to get clients. To go out there and promise clients you'll help them be successful if you, yourself, are not.  

     It is the backwards/wrong way to handle this. The most needed school in the whole world has been a school that did not teach coaches to coach.  The most needed and appreciated and welcome school has been the school that gets coaches clients and notice the phrasing there.  Not the school that teaches you HOW TO to get clients, because that's just more information about how to do something. If you come to the school and come away only with information about how to do something, the school failed you.  

     The intention of the school---the commitment of the school-- -is not to just teach you information about HOW TO get clients.  The intention of the school is to actually get you clients.  It is not information.  It is transformation.  

     It is about changing who you are so you have skills and internal tools---dialogue you can use and it will acquire clients for you simply as a form of self-expression. It's where you are coming from.  It's who you are instead of information you try to remember.  That's the point of the school.  It's experiential, it's transformational, it's provocative.  

WHAT DOES 80 LOOK LIKE?

     When you turn 80, what will you look like? What will you feel like? How alive will you be? How creative? How courageous. How much fun will you be having? Will there be any thing called ROMANCE in your life?

   Will you be like this:

 
 

OR like this:

 
 
*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

     What does age have to do with anything? No one's ever been able to give me a good answer to that. I keep asking. It seems to be everyone's biggest concern and I'm just trying to find out why.

*      *      *      *     *     *    *     *     *

 

      “The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” 

~Amelia Earhart

*      *      *     *     *     *     *     *

     Take a DANCE BREAK three times a day!

     At our LONDON event for coaches Rich Litvin changed the energy in the room when he dimmed the lights and put THIS video up on the screen. Take a moment and let yourself be inspired by Sean Stephenson.  Sean Stephenson is an author and public speaker who was born with a genetic disorder that would leave him three feet tall and so brittle that even a cough would leave him in pain. At birth they thought he would survive only 24 hours, but today he has turned every "tragedy" and "disorder" into a gift that inspires millions.

    Dance with him. I dance with him every day now. You should have seen 47 prominent coaches dancing with him. London was amazing. Thank you Rich.

 

*      *      *      *     *     *     *     *   

     Speaking of Rich Litvin, he is in my current coaching school...it is his third time, and he just gets stronger every time. 

     QUESTIONS I've received about my upcoming JULY 29-30 coaching PROSPERITY School:

     Q. What if I can't make all three LIVE workshops in the year?

     A. Some will attend all three, others just two and some even one. I recommend you attend all three, for the benefit of your coaching practice. But you'll receive enough value from the ongoing daily messages, monthly webinars, mailings, and peer coaching, etc. to optimize your investment.

     Q. Why daily messages?

     A. They keep us motivated. They are written to you, the coach. They are about coaching and building a great coaching practice. Coaches can get discouraged when clients don't come in quickly enough. This message is a way to start your day on a positive, inventive, creative note. What if you had a message sent to you every single workday that inspired you to thrive as a coach, and gave you just the right psychological boost to get you started?  Would that be different than the way the day starts now?

     Q. What's the difference between this school and other coaching schools?

     A. This school is not teaching you how to coach. It is focused entirely on getting you clients and building your prosperity. This is the only school in the world that does this.

     Q. What will the monthly webinars be about…and what if I have to miss one?

     A. These webinars feature me and sometimes special guest coaches talking about how they create clients, raise fees, prospect, and everything else. They feature LIVE coaching, and answers to various questions sent in by coaches. The sessions are set up to be lively, unconventional and informative, and they will help you get clients. You receive a CD of each session in the mail, so you never miss anything.

     Q. Who are your guest coaches on the webinars?

     A. They are coaches who have used the principles in the school to grow high six-figure (or higher) incomes and prosper. They share their experiences, including their early struggles and how they solved their client-acquisition challenges. They share their secrets.

     Q. Are the live events the same?

     A. They all drive home the same 18 Disciplines, so newcomers to the school receive the basics at each session, but no two LIVE conferences will be the same. They have different guest coaches, different exercises and absolutely fresh and rejuvenating experiences each time. We innovate and experiment inside each session. We grow together. Coaches learn to acquire clients and become prosperous. If you would like to receive a Word doc of the 18 Disciplines email me here: [email protected].

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

     Will you still make music at 80?

REMEMBERING I'LL BE DEAD SOON

 

      At his famous Stanford graduation talk Steve Jobs said, "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool that I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.  Because almost everything-all external expectations all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure-these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.  Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

YOU WANT TO COACH OR DO THIS?

 

    Coaches who could change the world with their excellent work give up too easily and go into other professions, like Steve Martin's CREEPY GUY pictured above.

     I am devoting myself to helping coaches not end up like Steve, looking for work with a plastic hammer.

     MY LAST DAYS ON THIS PLANET

     I am devoting my final days to a single mission.

     I am delivering a year-long school for coaches to empower them to get clients and build their practices to strong levels of prosperity.

     I've been doing versions of this school for years now, with remarkable results. Students who have attended my six-month version have learned to sell their services at levels they never thought possible. My school has been the only coaching school that does not teach you how to coach. It's the only school that focuses all its time and energy on one thing: acquiring your next client.

     This is the only school that does this.

     My own life was completely turned around by coaching, and like a mad scientist who has found a cure for cancer, I want to give that turnaround back. My last days will do that and only that: teach coaches to sell and prosper.

     Because a coach without a client is not a very effective coach. I know. I have been there. And how did that sorry state get cured? By my own coach, the ultimate coach, Steve Hardison (www.theultimatecoach.net) Now I want to give coaches everywhere what he gave me. It's not enough that coaches are good coaches. If you are a coach in my school I want to make you as good a salesperson as you are a coach. For your client's sake and for the sake of humanity itself. Coaching can only save civilization if there are clients.

     No one alive has my history of being coached. 

     No one on this planet has what I have to give a coach.  No one. And if that sounds arrogant or self-inflated, please know that I'm not stating this FACT just to be boastful...I am stating this fact as a promise to each coach who works with me: no one has been coached as I have, and all I have is now yours. My dying days are on a platter for you.

    I was coached in the military, inside Psychological Warfare, on how communication can delete negative belief systems in a human mind. I was coached by my sponsor in a12-step recovery program on how to live drug and alcohol free. The result of that coaching is my proud, precious 31 years clean and sober one miracle day at a time.

     My first official "coach" was Tom Rompel who was an associate of Werner Erhard's in Transformational Technologies. I was a client of the great psychologist Nathaniel Branden for years. I have taken courses at Landmark Education, attended schools and seminars with Byron Katie, and been coached and taught and trained by the best of the best. This has been an extremely intense personal rebirth and reinvention and it has lasted 31 years. I've never met anyone who has worked through even a fraction of that work, and I'm only mentioning a portion of it. I have written dozens of books, coached scores of individuals, trained over 30 Fortune 500 companies and all of that now is being given back...it is focused on two individuals: you the coach and your next client.

     I want coaches to rise up and create prosperous, powerful practices so that coaching reaches its rightful place in the world as the most influential and respected profession there is. Everyone knows it is headed there anyway. Almost everyone who cares about greatness has a coach these days. Yet that's a small per cent compared to where it could and should be.

     I started my coaching prosperity schools four years ago because there was one thing missing. And it was the most important thing of all: a coach's ability to sell. A coach's mastery of the client-acquisition process. It was missing. 

       Coaches were all gung-ho about learning to be a great coach. They went to schools, read books, listened to powerful audios, got certifications, even got coaches who taught them to coach even better. But the big missing was still missing. How do I get a client? How do I sell without being afraid?

     Sales fear. Call reluctance. Money fear. Confusion of service with personal worthiness. All diseases inside the coaching profession. Many times these diseases were fatal. Coaches gave up. One brilliant coach I know gave up and started selling cars. The centers for disease control
(various victim centers known as coaching associations) put out bleak and troubling statistics about how the average coach was making less than minimum wage. A stunning thing.

     Meanwhile the coaches in my school were reporting weekly billings of $3,000. $5,000 and often more than $10,000. A coach in the current school reported a $50,000 week recently. And one of my school graduates routinely earns seven figures a year coaching now, although when he came to me four years ago he could not make himself sell.

     When I wrote a book called Fearless, I wanted all kinds of people in all walks of life to learn to be fearless. And I knew, because of what happened for me through coaching, that it was possible and doable (I was once the greatest coward I ever knew). Then I started an internet membership club called Fearless for the same reason.

     But now all of that is behind us, and I enter my last and most exciting days. It's coaches only, now. And it's all about creating clients for those coaches. Clients! That's how coaching will change the world. Because you cannot help a client you do not have. And that was always the big missing. Effortlessly acquiring clients was the big missing in coaching. Memo to the universe: IT'S NO LONGER MISSING.

     George Bernard Shaw says in his famous quote, "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die." I read that quote in its entirety (posted below) every morning as I focus on the next coach I will transform. I am dying now to everything else I ever did and living just for this one school and all the clients it will create for coaches. Being reborn to this feels inspired.

     ~Steve Chandler
     www.imindshift.com

     "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

     "I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can."

     "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

     ~George Bernard Shaw

Coaching Prosperity School

Begins July 29 and 30 LIVE in Phoenix

Duration of membership: One Year

Two more LIVE events Oct. 28, 29

and March 23, 24, 2012

     Monthly webinars on Client Acquisition with Steve Chandler and occasional guest coaches who will share their practice-building secrets. All webinars are recorded for your future listening.

     Daily sales and practice-building tips delivered to you via email Monday through Thursday.

    Weekly phone coaching calls with other school members on the subject of client acquisition.

    Various unscheduled audio bonuses, eBook bonuses, books and articles all designed to boost your prosperity and build the strength of your practice.

    The fee for a full year in the school is $3,000. You may choose to attend, one, two or all three of the LIVE events, all you need to do is reserve your place.

     EMAIL me to apply: [email protected].

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

    LETTING GO IS THE GAME

 

 

     JOHN LENNON once said, “I’d spent five hours that morning trying to write a song that was meaningful and good. I was just sitting, trying to think, and I thought of myself sitting there doing nothing and going nowhere. Once I’d thought of that, it was easy; it all came out. No, I remember now, I’d actually stopped trying to think of something. Nothing would come. I was cheesed off and went for a lie down, having given up. Then I thought of myself as nowhere man, sitting in this nowhere land. ‘Nowhere Man’ came, words and music, the whole damn thing. The same with ‘In My Life.’ I’d struggled for days and hours, trying to write clever lyrics. Then I gave up, and ‘In My Life’ came to me. Letting it go is the whole game.”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

     A clock for a true TIME WARRIOR:

 

SONG OF ATTRACTION

 

     I speak slowly.  I don't get all psyched up and pumped up.  I don't transfer my energy to you.  I don't want to get you psyched up and pumped up.  I don't live with passion-at least not in my audio recordings.  So, let's get that straight.  I do this deliberately.  I speak slowly.  I slow everything down. 

      I want you to be able to hear this at a level that you are not all pumped up and excited about, but a level that goes in there (into the subconscious part of your system-into every cell in your body) and becomes an operating principle instead of just information.  Something you know.  It might become a place to come from.  I want to slow your mind down.  I don't want you racing out ahead of what I am talking about into your own future.  

    This future-racing that we do is really the problem as far as success is concerned. If people would simply slow down and focus on the beautiful details right here they might thrive. 

    Choose a few good money-making skills and practice them slowly. Wonderful things would happen.

     But rather than practicing core skills, I find my client, Reed, pasting photos all over his office…photos of hot cars and hot women and seaside mansions. Michael Buble is singing loudly from the speakers on Reed's computer:

So you want to be a rock star
with blue-eyed bunnies in your bed
well remember when you're rich
that you sold yourself for this
you'll be famous cause you're dead

Reed explains to me that he is utilizing the law of attraction. He says that one cannot have blue-eyed bunnies in one's bed without first picturing them there.

    I sit Reed down for his coaching session, and I say, "Let's take this idea of attraction first. If you really want to succeed, one of the first things you want to eliminate from your mind is this thing called attraction."

    Reed looks stunned. His whole office is geared up for a harmonic convergence. He believes he can create a vortex for abundance in his mind and in this very room. 

    "I'm trying to develop a passion," he says, "for attracting what I want. I'm including passion on that list."

     Reed points to the word "PASSION!" written in deep purple on his wall.

     He says, "I want to learn to live with passion."

     I look at Reed and he looks exhausted. I can tell he's been working on his room a long time.

     Reed is not unusual. Spoiled as a child, he has been conditioned to always wonder whose boots he has to lick to get what he wants. Who will give it to him? The universe? I need to tell him that there is no universe. Can he handle that yet?

     Reed is not unusual.

     Prospective coaching clients often begin their calls with these words,"I want to attract things into my life.  I want to find a way to attract wealth.  I want to find a way to attract a spouse.  I want to find a way to attract customers to my website.  I want to find a way to attract clients into my world." 

    I recommend that they drop that. I ask them to look back through their lives and notice how it does not work.  I would only drop it because it does not work.  

     I've worked with people for over 20 years and I have never seen "attraction" work.  Therefore I would drop it from my repertoire (my vocabulary) especially from inside that part of my mind that carries the morbid, toxic beliefs around with me that keep me from succeeding.  

     This thing called attraction-attracting a partner, attracting customers, attracting money, attracting wealth, attracting good contacts and stuff-is often associated with life coaching. Or new age spirituality wherein we harmonize with the vortex and cuddle up with the universe so that the universe finally begins to bless us.

     It's childhood all over again. What do I think Mom's going to give me for my birthday?? It's exciting! What am I going to get? It's all about wishing and hoping for things, so it's the opposite of what good coaching brings about.

     Coaching empowers people. Coaching does not relate to what everyone else is calling "the universe."

     I want to drop "attraction" as a strategy only because it doesn't work.   Have I repeated that enough times?  Because repetition (annoying as it is) has you get it. So you might end up not liking me, but getting it.  So that would be OK with me.  I mean, that would be perfect for me.  I'm not here to attract admirers.  I'm really here to have these principles get inside people who are interested in how and why coaching works. 

     Once I drop my love affair with the idea of attraction, what can I replace it with?  I mean, I might want a spouse or a partner. Am I to now be deliberately unattractive? I might want customers or clients.  I might want wealth coming into my life.  So if I'm not going to be utilizing the law of attraction, if I'm not going to sit quietly and picture these things coming into my world, then what can I do instead?

     What I recommend for people to do is make a difference. To actually make a difference all day, every day by using creation.  By substituting creation for where they once had attraction as their operating system.  Rather than attracting a partner, I want to create a relationship. Now I can become active.  I can join clubs, I join church groups and connect with civilization.

     I remember once, many years ago, I joined a group of single parents with children. I had full custody of my kids as did the other single parents in our group and it was really fun.  But I created that activity, and so I made my life different than it was which is called making a difference.  

     Making a difference has you be creative throughout the day instead of sitting back wondering how to attract things.

     Here's the main problem with attraction as an operating principle.  This is why it's dysfunctional. Attraction immediately assumes that there are things (people, money, whatever) outside of you, out there somewhere, that need to come into your world for you to be happy.  That's what attraction is all about.  Moving something from the outside to the inside. Therefore the whole theme of attraction….the whole principle of attraction…is that you are not enough.  

     You don't have what it takes.

     That's the starting point. That's the beginning premise. You are not enough. You are incomplete. You are missing something major. You are a damaged self.

     And that's a very weak way to start your day.

     To believe that you don't have…inside of you…the resources to make you happy.  You need to have it all come to you from the outside.  You need to have it come in from what you fearfully regard as "the universe." It's the same old punishing God paranoia that the ancients had, only dressed up in a new age "universe" language.

     To be complete? I need to attract, from the universe, a beautiful new partner, more clients, more money, a perfect job, more hits on the website!  With attraction as my belief, all these things must come to me from the outside for me to be happy.

     That has me walking around deficient as a human. And when my self-concept is deficiency, how bold and confident can I be in my communications today? It's my communications that will bring me success, not the universe. But because I have begun my day focusing on my laundry list of deficiencies (dressed up as goals and dreams) I am weak and scared. Because I am not enough.

    I am trying to "attract" what would complete me, and my whole day is about that.

    It leads to low self-esteem.  It leads to becoming someone that other people don't want to be around.  We love being around people who have enough.  Who love their lives, who are in love with life because they've got everything they would ever need to be happy.  We love being around people like that and we are (dare I say it-I shouldn't even say this) we are attracted to people like that.

    My coach taught me to turn my life around completely, so that my focus was on strengthening the inside instead of focusing so much on what was missing from the outside.

     My coach Steve Hardison taught me that when I did look to the outside, it was always to see where I might be able to make a difference. Rather than to whom I needed to impress or win over. I was to look for where I could make a difference in someone's life.